During the many years that I have been doing readings for folks, primarily women, I have recognized that a few things are missing in most relationships. When I explain to my clients how there are three major components to a healthy and long-lasting relationship, they seem to understand the importance of how they work together.
So let's dig into the thick of all this. The first component is self-love. How can one love another if they do not start with loving themselves first? Think of how much you love your child or animal. I will use myself as an example.
I have two grown young men, and even to this day, I love them with all my heart. I would do anything for them and pity the poor person that would do something to hurt them. I am always there for them to help them with anything they need or want. If it is something I can't give to them because I do not physically or financially have the means, I will find another way.
But what happens when we have to offer the same kind of love to ourselves? Most of us do not believe we deserve to have that much attention and love. Loving and giving to ourselves is the first and most important thing we can do to create self-love. If we have that much energy to love someone or something else, we have that much energy to put into us.
The moment we begin to understand that we deserve our love, we will start to draw a different kind of energy into our relationships, whether they are romantic or friendly. We must nurture ourselves with love.
Even when my funds are low, I make room to nurture myself with something that brings me happiness. I love flowers and every week, and I buy myself a lovely bouquet of flowers from the local market close to my home. I am talking less than five dollars, but it is essential for me to love myself. I know, it is a very simple thing, flowers. But they make me feel good all over. Some of you may love to cook for others, but by taking the time to cook yourself a really lovely meal, you are displaying actions of self-nurturing and love.
I have a secret to share with you. If you continue to do these simple little things for yourself, your affection for yourself will grow, and you will soon develop a beautiful, loving relationship with YOU. Next comes the second component to having a long-lasting and loving relationship, and that is self-respect. Once you begin to develop a genuine love for yourself, self-respect just comes naturally.
Think about when you were in a relationship with someone you just adored—another good example, using myself. When I was in high school, I had moved to a new town and met this drop-dead gorgeous guy. Not only was he gorgeous, but he was such a ladies' charmer too.
One night he had a big party at his house while his parents were away for the weekend. That is where I met him, at his party. Wow, I was so in awe of this guy. We got together and dated for about three weeks. I discovered that he had a long-time girlfriend that was not at that party. She was a little older and went to a local community college. He told me he was breaking up with her so we could be together.
Of course, being young and stupid, I went along with that. Three weeks later, he ended what was just starting between us, and I was crushed. He realized that he did care for his long-time girlfriend. I went on the following few weeks coping with the short relationship. Even though I really still adored him. We had decided to remain friends, and it was not long before I began to date one of his friends.
One afternoon I got a call from him, and he asked me how I felt about having an "affair." Although he loved his girlfriend, it seems this guy wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Remember, I was young and stupid and went along with it. What happened here? Not only was this guy showing disrespect to the woman he claimed to be in love with, by the way, he married her later & divorced, but he was showing disrespect to himself and me. I was not showing myself love and respect by entertaining this. Of course, neither of us were showing any respect towards the girlfriend.
If someone truly loves themselves and has self-respect, they would never act on such thoughts and desires. The third component is integrity. If you do not have self-love, self-respect, then integrity is going to be lost too. Having a healthy relationship with another person is a bonus to life. The actual relationship starts with self.
When we embrace self-love, self-respect, and integrity, then we are ready to share ourselves romantically with another person. But I must caution you, in order for the relationship to work, both parties must bring the three components of self-love, self-respect, and integrity to the table.
If just one of the components is missing from either person, the relationship will be very rocky. So, if you find yourself attracted to someone who wants to start a romantic journey with you and are already in a committed relationship, let that be a red flag.
Love and respect yourself enough to say no and walk away. Showing yourself this high level of integrity won't be long before you attract that strong, loving, healthy relationship you have been waiting for.
In Love & Light,
Psychic Lisa Marie