Is Your Romantic Checklist In Need Of An Upgrade?: Insights from Psychic Shira

Bright Greetings,

Welcome to my new and returning readers. It is a joy to connect with you. I am transmitting the energy of love to each of you as we enter the holiday season.

Are you working from an outmoded relationship list?

Many times, when you are looking for the one and time-after-time, it does NOT work out, you wonder. WHY? What is wrong with me? What did I say? Why did they walk away? Why am I attracting romantic partners that lose interest and leave? Why am I meeting narcissists or unavailable partners? Even if you are resilient in who you are, your confidence can begin to ebb after a series of failed connections.

It has to do with your list: The list you make when you are growing up and idealizing the "perfect" relationship is to you.

You may still be operating from your list as a teenager! If so, you are embodying the fairytale versus where you are now, as an adult and ready for a real relationship. A relationship with the nuances of faithfulness, responsibility, empathy, and supporting individual goals and aspirations as a couple/family.

One of the reasons you are asked to avoid overlapping relationships is to have TIME reassess if what you attracted/were attracted to is what you wanted in a romantic pairing.

Re-evaluate before moving on, for you are likely to attract the SAME person in a different skin. While they may seem different from the relationship you were in before, they will be replicated in the fundamental way they operate. If you have been attracted to people who need rescuing, narcissists, and dominating personalities, you will unknowingly stay on the same dead-end road unless you check in with your vibe.

Ask your friends to observe how you represent yourself when you are with other singles. Set your ego aside, and LISTEN. Take their loving feedback seriously. Ask them what impression you made and how they observed the interaction.

Did you come across as overeager, guarded, kind, empathetic, compassionate?

Do you listen, talk over them, or have a genuine conversation or connection?

REWRITE THE LIST: Time to scrap the old list of what you seek in love, and update! Draft your list without having a particular potential mate in mind, for you will adapt the list to them.

Some categories to consider:

Financial Responsibility

Fidelity

Being friends with your exes

The balance of work and home

Children Blended family

Education levels

Empathy/kindness/compassion

Family-oriented, Spontaneous, or a planner

Traditional roles or share the chores

Shared or separate bank accounts

Animal lover or prefers no pets

Generous or cheap gift giver

Demonstrates love through action more than words

Community-oriented

Keeps their promises

Serious or great sense of humor

Great communicator or reserved

Passion levels mesh well

Reserved or adventurous

Easy going or intense

Will put your first in their life or has family loyalty issues

Suburbs, country, or city

Religious or spiritual

This is only my partial list when I counsel couples who desire to get married or romantically partner. As an ordained reverend since 2001, all of these items come into play. You are not only merging your lives, but you are combining two families, two familial patterns, and two sets of friends.

BE REAL ABOUT WHAT YOU SEE IN POTENTIAL ROMANTIC PARTNERS: Stop looking at potential and look at them through a pragmatic lens. Accept what they reveal about themselves and refrain from projecting your list onto them.

When they show you who they are, believe them. If they put their best foot forward and hear warning bells sounding, take a step back.

A large percentage of people believe that the feeling of falling in love is the real deal. It is the chemical attraction phase only. In this phase, you will seek or manufacture commonalities with them (only to find later that you have very little you connect with). Real love is unconditional and comes after you have cultivated an emotional bond. This takes time.

Worthy of repeating my beloved readers: THIS TAKES TIME.

Please remember that you are worth the effort, and anyone genuinely interested will show up for you if I can help you sort through the dynamic of love, finding love, or drafting a new list. Please give me a call at extension 1093.

Thank you for our time together. I love you, and I believe in you.

In Divine Truth and Love,

Psychic Shira

Shira is a psychic online with Meet Your Psychic. She can be reached at extension 1093 for your psychic needs.