Strategies To Transform A Rebound Relationship Into The Real Thing : Insights from Psychic Shira

Bright Greetings,

Welcome to my new and returning readers. It is a pleasure to connect with you. Let's talk about rebound relationships. All of my topics are inspired by your concerns and the messages that Spirit has to share with you.

I receive a large number of calls about rebound relationships, realizing in hindsight that they could have been "the one." I asked for guidance today, so here we go, my friends. You have broken up with someone significant in your life, perhaps a divorce, or a romantic cohabitating partner (or possibly to death). You have gone your separate ways, and you find yourself seeking companionship, ANY companionship.

First, you have to lower your standards and think more "Miss/Mister right now." You may still be feeling scorched from the last relationship and want something less complicated and without the cables, knots, and heartbreak. You sign up for one of the plethoras of easy to access dating apps, slide left of slide right, and are going looking for someone you are attracted to and can enjoy each other's company now and again.

In the dating world of impermanence, you are looking for chemistry and, at the very least, someone that can contribute to a decent conversation. Much to your surprise, you find someone with whom you genuinely resonate! Since the relationship building is framed as short-term or impermanent, you end up going your separate ways, despite the deepening feelings between you. You are likely both seeing others, so going your separate ways is quite common.

You move forward, but this rebound relationship keeps coming back into your mind, making them the new standard for the kind of person you seek to fill that special place in your life. Your intention was to keep it casual, but your heart had decided for you.

THIS BEGS THE QUESTION: Can you turn a rebound relationship into a long-term partnership or marriage?

THE SHORT ANSWER: Yes, with the right approach.

THE LONG ANSWER: Roughly 90% of rebound relationships cease to exist after a few months. Most going to only 2-3 months before you both move onto other interests.

You are still using your ex as the measure of the perfect man/woman in your life, rather than taking the new person for who they are or what they have to offer. Ten percent will be successful IF you can cut the cord and your expectations from your last failed relationship! I have seen relationships that were casually transformed into long-term by applying the strategies below.

Rebound Strategy One: Get back in contact with your rebounder (if you can). A simple text message: "Hello Jane/Joe, it has been a while. I would love to catch up with you. Tell me when you are available to talk, please." By using the phrase tell me you are inviting an actual response on their part more than find, good, or great.

Rebound Strategy Two: When/if they return your message, keep it light and simple. Declarations of love, how much you have missed them, how much you have longed for them, give off a desperate vibe. Try instead: Great to hear from you. Tuesday at eight it is at the Bistro. See you there. Save the more intense feelings for a face-to-face encounter.

Rebound Strategy Three: When you do meet, realize that you are in new terrain. If they are meeting with you, there is some degree of reciprocity on their end. It will take some clear communication and intentIon to change the contract you have established between you. 

Rebound Strategy Four: Refrain from having casual intercourse. This will pull you right back into the same framework of your previous understanding. There is more at stake now, for you are connecting to evaluate whether this will work as a long-term committed relationship. Hold hands, kiss, hug, cuddle, and build emotional intimacy.

Rebound Strategy Five: Go out together with friends, introduce them to your family, and get feedback from those who love you. This is so important. When two people come together, two tribes merge, being confident that you work at this level is critical to you getting the support that you need as a couple.

Rebound Strategy Six: Take a vacation together. It does not need to belong, it can be a weekend at a local B & B. How well do you travel together? Do you get along spending more substantial amounts of time together? Is there a demonstration of kindness and empathy? Even doing a one-day wine country tour can be revealing. See you interact with other couples. How does it feel to connect this way?

Rebound Strategy Seven: Dream together. What do you want as a couple? This will aid in pivoting your relationship to the long-term. Communicate in loving ways throughout the week, bring flowers, a favorite bottle of wine to share, and cultivate rituals together that bring meaning to your lives as a couple.

Rebound Strategy Eight: Refrain from talking cohabitation, engagement, or marriage until it is clear that the two of you have gelled. One of my friends (who has permitted me to share this) suggested spending four seasons together prior to making plans on living together before marriage or marry. My friend is now happily married to the love of her life after a painful divorce and custody battle when the kids were young. She took her time, and she and her new husband own a chain of successful businesses together. They dated for eight years before making it official, and it was well worth the wait! In those four seasons, you have experienced the holidays, see how they are with thoughtful nuances such as giving gifts, how they are with money, honesty, fidelity, how they connect to your friends and family, and if this is a relationship of collaboration or competition.

Suppose your last pairing was with a person who had strong narcissistic qualities. In that case, it is a good idea to make sure you are not attracted to the rebound connection for the wrong reasons if you have reciprocity, congratulations! You are moving towards a long-term commitment. If you realize they are similar to your ex, please be willing to walk away before you invest too much of yourself or ask it of them. It is better to part amicably than with bitterness.

Thank you for our time together. This is my segment of the day, connecting with each of you.

I love you, and I believe in you.

In Divine Truth and Love,

Psychic Shira

Shira has been in the intuitive arts for over 45 years and holds certifications in (to name a few): Vibrational Healing, Tarot, Reiki (Master Teacher in several systems), Animal Reiki/healing, Bodywork Counseling (Reiki + Process Work), Matrix Energetix, and holds several degrees, including a Master's Degree in Health Care Administration. She is gifted in Dream Interpretation and offers crystal clear insight into all areas of the human perspective. She is a Psychic Medium and has been connecting to life-after-life since the age of 5. She offers loving, direct, and compassionate readings. Shira believes that your ability to manifest is unlimited.